Are you caring for an elderly parent?

Are you taking care of your parent or other older family member in your home? Might this be a possibility in the future? In this 20-minute conversation, you’ll hear how a woman named Betty, grieving the sudden death of her mother, took her elderly father into her home for a time period that was likely to be two years. Two decades later, Pops is still in residence.

You might learn something from Betty’s experience. Here’s what you’ll hear in this podcast:

00:00
Introduction of Betty
00:48
 Betty’s unintended path after her mother died; the results of an emotional response.
02:07
 Selling the home and inviting Pops to live in the family home.
02:25
 Challenges of having a “guest” in the home.
03:55
 Another issue: Pops is still your dad.
04:00
 Effects on Betty’s son; family dynamic changed overnight.
04:55
 Benefits of Pops in the house: Betty and her husband could go away for a week; easy to make sure Pops was taken care of (food, clothing, and so on); no driving to check on him.
06:00
 Changing relationship with Pops; he used to be the person Betty ran to with her problems, and now he is dependent in many ways; hard to lose the person you used to depend on.
07:25
 “This is my future too,” says Betty.
08:20
 Each small incident shows that the entire parent/child role has been reversed.
08:55
 Practical necessities; modifications to the home to ensure safety.
10:37
 Betty says they should have bought a bungalow.
10:56
 Betty and her husband made an effort to maintain their own social network; some friends were not sympathetic when Pops wasn’t invited to the dinner table.
12:45
 Pops was very supportive of Betty’s efforts as a volunteer and member of a wider community.
13:30
 Support for elder care in the wider community; Betty’s friends were very understanding.
13:45
 With people living longer, and our great healthcare system, many of us are faced with the prospect of elderly parents in our lives for years.
14:45
 Pops doesn’t think he’s “old,” and resists joining a seniors’ group.
15:55
 You can’t impose your will on an elderly parent.
16:00
 Look for programs in the community so that your elderly parent is not isolated.
17:40
 On the flip side, it can be very difficult to care for an elderly parent who does NOT live in your home.
18:20
 Looking back, Betty thinks she should not have made a long-term decision when dealing with the emotional shock of her mother’s death; “taking care of” a parent does not necessarily mean taking him into the home.
21:48
 Importance of planning for possibility of elder care; how your credit union can help with wealth-management services, estate planning or a home-equity loan.

The Police Credit Union is a full-service financial institution with several branches throughout the greater Toronto area. Call us at 1.800.561.2557 for an appointment or visit us online at tpcu.on.ca.