Bullying as a relationship problem: A conversation with Dr. Debra Pepler

For parents, bullying is a pervasive issue in Canada, whether your child is the one doing the bullying or the person being victimized. In this 16-minute podcast, you’ll hear research-based insights from Dr. Debra Pepler, an expert in this field. She also shares valuable practical tips for parents and other people in the child’s life.

Here are the show notes for this podcast:

00:01
Intro – You’re going to hear an interview with Dr. Debra Pepler about bullying. This is the first in a series of three podcasts. The second podcast is about bullying from the parents’ and teachers’ perspective. The third podcast is about bullying in the workplace.
00:55
Our expert is Dr. Debra Pepler, a Distinguished Research Professor of Psychology at the LaMarsh Centre for Research on Violence and Conflict Resolution at York University, as well as Senior Associate Scientist at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto. With Dr. Wendy Craig, she currently co-leads PREVNet – Promoting Relationships and Eliminating Violence Network. She is a world-respected authority on bullying research, who provides advice on safe schools and contributes to advisory committees related to parenting, antisocial behaviour and school violence. You can visit PREVNet online at www.PREVNet.ca. You’ll find wonderful resources there, all centred around the goal of “creating a world without bullying.”
02:02
Bullying defined as a form of aggression where there is a power imbalance; the person doing the bullying has power over the person being victimized; power differential increases over time.
02:46
Bullying rates place Canada near the bottom of rankings internationally; there is no national strategy to bring this issue to the fore; PREVNet is trying to change this.
03:35
Bullying as a relationship problem; Dr. Pepler describes her research in the playground; bullying problem requires relationship solution.
05:11
Bullying patterns of behaviour can carry on through life; may become dating aggression or sexual harassment; people who bullied in elementary school are more likely to be aggressive later; can lead to unhealthy relationships.
06:10
What can parents do about bullying? The first step is to look at your own behaviour. We have power over our children; it’s important not to use this power aggressively.
07:02
Model positive behaviour and model “repair” after you’ve made a mistake. Watch your child interact with others.
07:30
Look for opportunities to teach.
08:06
Keep lines of communication open with children; ask about their day.
08:40
Talk to teachers or other people in the child’s life.
09:45
Try to shift your child’s use of power from negative to positive. Ask yourself: What is my child really good at?
10:50
What about cyberbullying? Challenge for parents and teachers is that when kids are in cyberspace, we can’t see their interactions. It’s important to keep the computer in a common area within the home.
12:30
Hard to break out of the bullying pattern once it’s ingrained.
13:30
If your child has been victimized, talk to him or her about it, and be sure to follow up the next day. Listen to the answers; understand their distress; make suggestions. Suggest being assertive, but don’t advise them to fight back.
14:46
Visit the PREVNet.ca Web site for articles and other resources.
15:00
Thank you to Dr. Debra Pepler.
15:47
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